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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?